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| Carcinogenl | Дата: Понедельник, 2013-06-10, 9:09 AM | Сообщение # 182 |
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| Гуляя по сети обнаружил я недавно сей замечательный форум, где собрался нестеснительный народ ), готовый обсуждать ну самые наболевшие проблемы своей безбашенной юности, и решил поделиться с вами своими проблемами.
А дело вот в чем. Проблема моя куда глубже, чем у остальных, по крайней мере мне так кажеться.
Дело в том, что я боюсь женщин, т.е. не самих женщин, а того зверя, что может в них сидеть. Я вижу вокруг разных девушек, и хороших с виду и плохих, но даже мысли не возникает об интиме с ними.
Мои предки со свадьбы практически были как кошка с собакой, и с годами ненависть друг к другу только росла и укреплялась. Я никогда не видел, чтоб они любили друг друга, там целовались, или хотя бы просто уважительно разговаривали. Почему они не развелись я не знаю, разговор шел об этом очень часто, но ничего не менялось. Отец был слаб и глуп, а мать жестоким и неуравновешенным человеком, но разговоры о разводе всегда затихали на пол пути, и поводом служили дети (т.е. я), а также страх остаться одним (как мне кажеться). В ругани была их настоящая страсть, не оставалось смысла в жизни, если не было рядом ненавистного человека. В общем они нашли друг друга.
Где-то лет с 18 я стал как бы успокоителем данных сцен, т.е. успокаивал либо мать, либо отца своим жестким словом, либо угрозой, но без применения рук (хотя отца один раз отоварил).
Еще со школы я дал обет безбрачия так сказать, т.е. отсутствия отношений с противоположным полом. Девочек обходил за километр, потому что жутко боялся повторения примера своего отца. И еще я боялся самого себя, боялся испортить жизнь какой нибудь милой девушке, ведь кто знает какие звери бродят во мне самом. Т.е. я легко общался с девушками, но исключительно по необходимости (по работе, или с девушками своих друзей), я не могу с ними расслабиться, говорить на вольные темы. Я рассказывал об этом обете друзьям, но не говорил о причинах.
Но с некоторых пор ситуация меняется, Я чуствую в своей душе стабильность чтоли, мне кажеться я начинаю доверять самому себе ).
Отношения с девушками тоже слегка потеплели, недавно встречался с одной, правда закончилось безрезультатно - познакомились, когда я чинил у них комп по знакомству, там я был на высоте,
но по амурным вопросам оказалось куда сложнее, вообщем расстались.
У нас на работе есть девушка, и она мне очень нравится.
Я схожу с ума, когда вижу в женских глазах доброту, становлюсь безвольным. Как обезьяна, увидев взгляд удава смиренно идет к нему в пасть . (простите за грубый пример). Женская красота чарует меня, выметает любые другие мысли . Да, я не знаю носителей этой красоты, кто они такие, но думаю, что имею право доверять этим красивым глазам ).
Я был достаточно искренен в описании своей жизни, уж извиняйте, что испортил Ваш интимный форум такой ложкой дегтя, но я пытался рассказать мягко, без грубостей
Итак скажите, имею ли я право любить, и что это такое любовь (не та, что у моих предков, а
нежная и ласковая).
Может у кого были похожие проблемы?
Заранее спасибо Ваш Гуимплен
P.S. Кстати говоря а может проблемы моих предков здесь и ни при чем, т.е. я себе придумал легкую отмазу своей замкнутости
Кому нибудь здесь на форуме родители мешали личной жизни
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| imarieddy | Дата: Понедельник, 2013-06-10, 7:01 PM | Сообщение # 183 |
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